Whereas saying ‘I love you’ is common place in the western world, I can’t say the same for the average African family, though I can’t really say where our African brothers and sisters in the diaspora stand in this matter .
To back up my argument for the westerners, the then famous boy band Westlife in one of their songs ‘More Than Words’, sang about their girls saying ‘I love you’ but were not putting it as much into action. How funny because that seems to be the reverse order in the African culture, where for example the African father shows love to his children by paying for their school fees, buying them gifts, shielding his daughter from ‘bad boys’, etc, but never bothers to actually say those three magical words ‘I love you’ probably because he feels showing he loves them is the best way he can say it.
Even husband and wife find it difficult to utter those words to each other for some reason. The children too are not exempted from this ‘crime’(Lol), their own way of saying ‘I love you’ is perhaps by doing well in school, assisting in house chores, and just being a good and obedient boy or girl. Relationships between a young lad and his girlfriend also are part of this whole drama, guys probably being the more guilty party.
Now I know definitely action speaks and should in fact speak louder than words, but in this very case of human relationships, there is something about saying ‘I love you’ to your loved ones which unarguably must complement your actions towards the one you are professing love to of course. Your words must be as good as your action.
Why Africans don’t usually say ‘I love you’ might vary from one person to the other. For some guys and men, including fathers, they probably feel it makes them look or sound less of a man and weak since African men are known to be strong both physically and emotionally.Oh how wrong they are.
Some on the other hand actually don’t say it or show it better still either like they ought to for some reason, yet they are in a ‘relationship’. These ones are not who we are talking about today so I’m gonna leave it at that.
Some African men actually in addition to showing it would love to say ‘I love you’ to their wives, children or girlfriends as the case may be, but simply won’t, not because they feel it makes them seem weak or less of a man but simply because they are simply shy of saying it. Now whether that’s cute and adorable or not, I leave it to you.
As for our ladies and women, shyness of saying the three words could also be a factor. Another reason I can think of in the case of an unmarried couple may be the fact that each one is playing what I would call the ‘waiting game’ or ‘mind games’ to see who says it first while they are of course showing themselves the affection. Perhaps they may also feel that whosoever says ‘I love you’ first is the one that would have lesser ‘power and control’ in the relationship. Pathetic you say right? I would only excuse immature folks to do that anyway.
Sadly these are some possible reasons from my findings why two people in a supposedly committed relationship do not say those three powerful syllables as often or at all.
So in the spirit of love, I admonish every African child, man, woman, guy or lady and even our non-African friends out there, who might be guilty of this ‘offence’ to repent and say ‘I love you’ as much as you show it to your loved ones(and you’d better be showing it alright) or risk being charged to the ‘court of love’. Believe me, you don’t wanna get on the wrong side of the love court. Lol. So try it today. There’ s something magical about saying those words, that words itself cannot describe. Take it from me. I love you guys.
Would like to know what you guys think about the topic. Do you think we say ‘I love you’ as much as we ought to in Africa, or do you perhaps feel it’s not even necessary as long as we are showing love to those we care about?
Your friendly neighborhood cupid*wink*
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